Feeling drained and tired? Here are 7 energy leaks that will tell you where your energy goes
This article is inspired by the lectures, blog post on the energy leaks and teachings of Christoph Hareesh Wallis, Founder of Tantra Illuminated.
1 The attitude of over-doing and multitasking
As my yoga teacher says: “we are human being not human doers.” When doing to much, we create tension and that consumes energy. We’ ve become our results and we measure our own value based on what we have achieved. Do you agree?
So what can we do about it? There are different antidote and you need to try for yourself to see what works best for you. Here are a couple of techniques: relaxation, restorative practices like yin yoga, walks in nature, looking through out the window and just observing.
According to yoga this is what we need to do to recover and gather our powers:
4h off every day
At least 1 day off per week
At least 1 whole weekend off per month
3 weeks off a year
Notice! OFF means NO emails. Just being. No consumption of the news, social media etc. You still can do things like cooking, being with loved ones, working out, being in nature.
2 Another state that takes energy is having pain or a physical disease
Being sick or having pain something that inevitably drains us and might also cause a whole cycle of negative thoughts and judgements about ourselves. But remember that our bodies are amazing and they can heal themselves. They can repair. Our task is to give them that opportunity. Therefore taking time to take care of your body, create routines that support it, like moving your body, eating healthy, sleeping enough, taking regular breaks and allowing yourself to ask for help from professionals in case of a clinical issue.
3 Emotional reactivity, being stuck in the stories “he did this, she said that…”
The psychological theories of emotions var Instead of becoming your emotion, see if you can invite curiosity, observe what is happening with you when being triggered breathing, and asking: “is this really true?”
Two books that thought me how not get caught up in challenging emotions and that I can warmly recommend are
“When things fall apart” by Pema Chödrön
“The untethered Soul” by Michael Singer
4 Not being present
When I ask my client’s in our first session what are the 3 opportunities they are not using in their lives, not being present is one of the most common ones. They mean that they are wasting their time and energy by being somewhere else: in the past, in the future, dreaming, fantasising, being anxious how things turned out or will go south. We divorce ourselves by not staying on the inside, We dream about the sweet past, we imagine how great we will feel when we will be on vacation. The thing is, and the science has proven it, we are terrible at predicting how we will feel, and remembering accurately the past. So why even trying? Instead we can practice mindfulness and being present with what is right now.
5 Strongly held beliefs
We can fight (literally!) others based on our ideas. It’s not having the beliefs and opinions that is a problem, but rather clinging onto them, holding tight onto something that feels as a thruth that creates conflicts and suffering. I love my personal story from back in the days when I was working as a consultant. I remember having a conversation with a colleague, who I felt did value me. I wanted to be seen and appreciated by him. But suddenly my whole experience shifted when I realised that our interaction was for him about him and not about me. He was not rejecting me, he was rejecting certain parts of himself. This was a pivotal moment and game changer for me and our dynamics. It is helpful to look into what are you telling yourself when you experience emotional pain or triggers in certain situations.
How to address this leak practically?
On this level we can work with mantras, breathing; soften the belly, jaws, shoulder, acknowledge the complexity of reality and that we might know everything.
6 Unclear relationships and unclear boundaries
In private life and business, I see a great need in clarifying our expectations towards each other, our needs and ambitions. Something that is normal to you might not be to someone else. As Marshall Rosenberg points out in his work on Non-violent communication, something that we need to address often is what we need from a certain relationship or exchange. Otherwise we might get caught up in a guesswork on why someone did or didn’t do something, why someone pulled out from a collaboration or never answered our email.
How can we adress this challenge of unclarity and weak boundaries in practice?
Discuss openly expectations and needs
Have regular check-ins and stay close to the customer/clients/partners
Make written contracts for business related collaborations
7 Communication
One might argue that in general we speak too much. Too much without any substance or value, complaining, discussing others and so on. It has a social value in building stronger bonds and norms. But be mindful about this, because too much speaking drains the energy. A helpful guideline to make our communication more mindful, constructive and productive is to ask oneself these following 4 questions:
is it true?
is it kind?
is it necessary for other person to hear or for me to express?
is it a good timing?