Self-Doubt — is it a Seed of Wisdom or Self-Sabotage?
In Buddhist psychology there is a term “monkey mind”. It stands for the restless, jumping, chattering part of us that swings from doubt to doubt.
Sometimes it’s scared.
Sometimes curious.
Always moving.
Our work isn’t to silence it, but rather to listen, observe, and choose our response.
Meet your monkey mind and learn how to be the one who guides it.
When Doubt Shows Up
A client recently shared:
“A few days before our session, I started thinking:
What’s the point of coaching? Will it help? Why even try?”
He noticed that these doubts weren’t truth. They were a protective voice trying to prevent from the disappointment of not reaching the desired goal. This voice wants to keep him safe in the comfort zone. But this same voice also holds him back from taking steps that matter and reaching the full potential.
Another client, a highly accomplished professional, reflected this week:
“What if I’m not qualified for my next move?”
Even with a brilliant track record, doubt whispered uncertainty and made her hesitate.
And on Monday, even I found my mind bouncing between:
“What if I fail?” and “No, I can do this.”
This inner back-and-forth is human, but it’s costly when we believe every voice that appears. So how can you save your energy and engage in productive actions? This is what you will find out in this article.
The Cost of Believing Doubt
Why is this topic important?
Unchecked doubt can:
Drain energy
Shake confidence
Trigger procrastination & overthinking
Freeze decision-making
Make us abandon meaningful goals
Cause anxiety and even lead to depression. More on this: Foy, C . (2021). Self-Doubt vs Depression – When to Get Treatment. FHE Health, December 3, 2021.
When doubt becomes a loop, it turns into a form of self-sabotage and hold you back from living a fullfiling life and leading a career you dream of.
Where Doubts Come From
Doubt often has roots:
Old experiences (like being judged at 8 or bullied at 13)
Feeling misunderstood or unsupported growing up
Uncertainty about the future
Not reaching a goal
Job transitions or layoffs
Criticism — external or internal
Sometimes it's not a dramatic memory that triggers an internal doubt, it could be just a subtle sensation, or a familiar insecurity returning when life stretches us beyond our comfort zone. It could be just a lot on your plate right and many uncertainties at the same time that cause your trust into yourself shake.
The Vicious Circle
Self-doubt can have impact not only on our mood, but also on our actions in real life. It can lead to avoidance, procrastination or analysis-paralysis. Those patterns then strengthen the doubt… and round we go
For example, you want to record a podcast or write a chapter, but doubt whispers “not ready.” So you wait and the wait reinforces the doubt. Do you see my point?
Self-doubt can also create the opposite impulse: taking action too soon, rushing to prove something or to escape discomfort. That urgency can reinforce the fear underneath just as much as avoidance does.
This is why it’s essential to meet doubt with awareness, to feel it, understand it, and discern what it’s trying to protect instead of overriding it with forced positivity or a practiced smile.
Authentic confidence is born not from dismissing doubt, but from learning to sit with it, listen to it, and choose wisely.
So how can you do it?
“Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom.”
A New Question
What if, instead of believing doubt, we paused and doubted the doubt?
What if we treated it like any other information, like something to examine, not blindly listen to?
Building Inner Ground
I believe in building a foundation for our confidence and self-esteem. Our inner strength grows when we cultivate the following qualities:
Self-worth
Supportive relationships
Meaningful pursuits
Awareness of our values
Trust in our capacity to choose and learn
This creates a foundation where doubt doesn’t control us anymore and throw us into the vicious circle that I described above. It rather becomes a signal that informs us if we are moving to fast and need to pause and think once more, re-evalute, or maybe change our direction slightly.
A Practical Way Forward
I'm sharing here a short guided practice to help you in times of uncertainty and doubt:
Notice doubt without getting consumed by it
Discern whether it’s protection or sabotage
Move forward grounded in clarity
Below you’ll find The Doubt Filter a 3-step practice. You’ll be able to listen to the audio and follow along.
The Doubt Filter
Step 1 — Empty
Let your thoughts spill out without resistance.
Step 2 — Discern
What part is protecting you? What part is fear? What part is wisdom?
Step 3 — Decide
Choose one tiny grounded action. Movement builds trust.
(Audio coming next — stay tuned / play below)
Summary
Doubt is a signal, a doorway, a moment to pause and return to yourself. Am I moving too fast and need to calibrate? Did I move the connection to my ground and center and need to realign?
There will be moments of doubt, but you will be able to move through those moments faster and with more grace. With awareness your doubt becomes a teacher. With practice, you become the leader of your inner dialogue.
If you’d like to explore your doubt-pattern and how to overcome it with support, you can book a session here.