From “I Don’t Want This” to “This is What I Want” — The Key to Real Career Change

The change usually starts with a painful realisation that what you have is not what you want. Many of my clients express what is draining them or what they are tired of. Like this week a new client was saying: “I don’t want to just sit hours at my work. “

“I don’t want to stay in this job.”
“I don’t want to feel drained every day.”
“I don’t want to work in an environment that doesn’t value flexibility.”

As a coach, I love this starting point! This stage of disapointment, stuck-ness and frustration can be potent driver for change. It’s the first spark of awareness that something isn’t working. But staying in the space of “I don’t want” for too long can keep you stuck. Instead you need to move into “This is what I want.”

Why this shift matters

Psychology calls this the Transtheoretical Model of Change. It describes how people move through different stages on their way to transformation. And career change follows the same rhythm:

1. Contemplation – I don’t want this anymore
   You’ve noticed what’s unfulfilling. You know the current path isn’t right. But the vision of what comes next is still blurry or missing.

2. Preparation – I want something different
   This is where the shift happens: instead of only naming what drains you, you start naming what excites and motivates you. These words are usually our values. I often hear the following words: flexibility, freedom, creativity, growth and expressing my talents, meaningful impact and purpose,

3. Action – I’m taking steps toward it
   Clarity on what you want turns into decisions: exploring new roles and companies, reaching out to people, learning new skills, or setting boundaries in your current job.

A simple coaching exercise to try

Take one thing you don’t want and flip it into a positive want.

I don’t want a job that drains me. -> I want a job where I end the day with energy left for my family.

I don’t want a boss who micromanages me. -> I want to work in an environment of trust and autonomy.

Each time you flip it, you move yourself closer to the space where change is possible. Can you feel the difference?

Moving forward

If you’re at this crossroads, my career reflection guidebooks are designed to help you make this shift from frustration to clarity, from “don’t want” to “want.”

And if you’d like a space to talk it through, reach out, this is exactly the kind of transformation I support people with in coaching.

Because once you know what you do want, you can start taking the steps to create it.